VSFX 775 Studio II - Unit 2
Unit 2 (4/4/2020 – 4/8/2020)
Thesis Statement WIP
Here is the feedback from Professor Ilardi for my thesis statement draft.
The ancient Chinese book, Classic of Mountains and Seas, contains lots of information such as beasts, herbs, geography, countries, cultures, people, and rituals. Many of the stories had been considered to be mythological stories nowadays but lots of them actually are just describing about the natural phenomena and things that ancients can’t understand because of the lack of the knowledge.
This paragraph should be condensed. The content of the book could be something like creatures, flora and fauna, places and ritual, etc. and the flow of the sentence should be smooth and rhyming. Also try to avoid sentences that being too negative. The second half of the paragraph is more general, historic and universal, shouldn't be constrained only in Chinese or the book.
Then they exaggerate and document it in a simple text and drawing forms.
Move this sentence to the first or second sentence, otherwise, remove it.
With time past, these stories had been told and reinterpreted by artists.
Tie this sentence to the next first sentence, otherwise, it's optional to keep it.
Through thousands of years, all these reinterpretations may not be representing the original stories of what those ancients saw but can accidentally create some artworks that even more interesting and compelling piece of work than the original stories.
By referencing the original content of the book, earlier Chinese artists’ works, and my personal perspective, this thesis will create three environments in a realistic and surrealistic style.
Works fine, just needs to work on academic rhetoric.
*Read other three referencing theses that relevant to Chinese story environment
*Keep working on thesis statement